There won't be many.

1. Are YOU really YOU? Because it sometimes seems to me that you're a gay dude/ a ten-year-old girl/an even more hideous thing than shown here/somebody's sock puppet/ Michael Jackson.

You've got a wild imagination. Good for you. As for me, I have problems with imagination and, also, I'm too lazy to make up stuff about myself. If you're in Russia you can even get to meet me. Even though such experience is not for the weak of heart.

2. I think you suck at writing/photography/drawing. You seem to think so, too. So why do you lay this stuff out on the Net?

Choose the right option: a) because I can; b) because it's free; c) because even worse stuff winds up on the Net, and if they can do it, so can I. In fact, I put my shit up during mood swings and fits of adventurousness. I'm often tempted to pull it down afterwards, but some very kind people talk me out of it because they like it. And I let them talk me out of it, because yes, I am vain and yes, it does feel good. So there.

3. Why do you write about faggots?! It's disgusting!

Heh, disgusting. "I believe that everything that grown-up people are prone to do when they lock up in their bedrooms is equally disgusting. Therefore I don't see the need to distinguish between different kinds of disgusting acts." (c) David Drake, whom I probably misquoted. Anyway, David is joking, of course, and so am I, and you miss a lot of fun in your sex, but it's none of my business. And I write about men who fuck each other simply because I don't know how to write about women. I don't like typical females, I don't understand them, I have no idea about the way they think and their reasoning, and therefore I just can't create a more or less decent female character. Maybe I fuck up with men as well, but at least I don't know about it.

4. Are you really a Satanist or is it all a spoof? If you are, you must be a horrible person. You sacrifice little fluffy kittens, drink blood of unborn children, belong to some kind of sect, do covens and engage in orgies there... right?

I firmly belive that every kind of religion is a spoof. But my personal spoof is no less serious than yours. Really. As for the rest of it... you have to be a moron and not a Satanist to harm kittens or children, as well as to belong to any kind of sect. And even though some happenings I take part in definitely resemble covens, I don't do orgies there, because I prefer to engage in this kind of activity in more hygienically appropriate and cozy environment. And only when I want to. But I really am a horrible person, though! ;-)

5. If I start arguing with you about faggots or Satanism, can I make you change your mind and save your soul from burning in Hell?

Nope, you can't. You can't even have fun at my expense while doing it. Because I plain HATE pointless arguing. After the second time we exchange opinions I'm going to say, "Let's agree to differ", and after that I won't talk to you about it anymore. Alas. Find someone who appreciate their own time less than I do.

6. And I think you're great at writing/photography/drawing. If I ask you real nice, will you write/photo/draw something for me?

Nope. Hey, you're such a rare and tolerant person, I even hate to upset you. But I can't write, photo or draw on cue. Even by my own desire - I can't. I don't have the experience and talent it takes to write on cue, so I can only do that when I'm inspired. So you'll have to forgive me and turn to my insanely talented colleagues who, in their insane talentedness, even take part in ficathones, challenges and other scary things that have deadlines...

 

HOME