Big
Bob smelled a rat the very moment these three entered the bar.
It
was just half past three in the afternoon and the bar had just opened. The
usual crowd had already begun to gather up - some wanted to have some snack, some
needed to have a talk in the shade, there was even a young couple in the corner
who obviously couldn't think of a better idea of a date location. But the room
wasn't half full yet, so Bob looked up every time the door opened. He looked up
this one time, too - and saw them.
One
thing Big Bob most certainly had was intuition. When you weigh over 300 pounds,
you can't really escape trouble unless you start running before it happens. Bob
was of those early starters. He had been one of the first guys to leave Midgar, back when no-one could have predicted the
catastrophe. All because he'd had that tingling feeling.
Trouble. "Smelled a huge fat
dead rat," as his skinny brat of a brother would say. Bob never
took offence, parrying, good-naturedly enough, that his rat scan had never ever
let him down once.
And
now he smelled a rat that wasn't just huge. It was fuckin' obnoxious.
These early guests meant trouble. For him. For his bar. For everyone.
And
the guests behaved themselves. Chose a booth in the corner beside the counter,
settled down there and minded their own business, talking quietly among
themselves. And yet, every pair of eyes in the bar was set on them.
They
were so... different.
They
were young. Too young. Bob wasn't sure even the oldest
of them would have been allowed into a bar before, when you still had had to be
21 to enter such joints. They weren't just young - they were green. And alike as three peas. Like brothers. And still they
differed from each other, and differed a lot.
All
three of them had their hair a very strange tint of silver, and Bob could bet
his balls on it that it was shimmering softly, almost invisibly, in the
semi-darkness of the room. All three of them were wearing black leather -
leathered up head to toes. And all three of them were armed. On that, Bob could
bet his balls, too. There was something in the manner of one's presence when
one had a weapon on him. Some special air.
These
kids had that air on alright.
The
one who looked the oldest seemed also the strongest - a tall, big guy. His
face, a little angular, was framed by short sideburns, and the silverish hair
was neatly cut and combed back into a slick hair-do. He swayed in his chair,
his whole posture reeking of impatience and boredom. Bob watched him closely -
out of the three he looked the most dangerous. Bob knew such types - in the
heat of the battle those punks would throw fuckin' tables across the room just
for the heck of it, and they'd get into a fight for the same reason, too. The
bar had just been redecorated, and, actually, Bob hadn't paid that much for the
furniture to watch it getting crushed.
The
second one looked calmer. He must've been as tall as his older companion, but
he was skinnier, smoother, looked graceful and lean... but not delicate. Of
those Bob had also seen quite a few. He wasn't taken in by the serenity of
these huge eyes, two dark whirlpools on the impeccably regular face. The guest
sat unmoving, leaning his elbows on the table, resting his head on his
interlaced fingers, his long hair a cascade of silver against the black leather
of his coat... and Bob hoped he would remain this way. People like this guy had
stretchy patience, but once it was used up, they rarely used words to answer
even mildest insults. They used knives. Or swords. Or guns. Bob had already noticed just how suspiciously the
longhair's coat bulged at the hip.
The
third one was the youngest. And at the first sight looked the safest. But it
was the sight of him that made the alarm in Bob's head go right off, screaming
danger, screaming red alert, shutting the whole world out. Bob was used to
trusting this alarm of his. But still, he just couldn't get it.
The
kid was hardly over 16, after all.
He
was toying with an ashtray absent-mindedly, talking to the longhair, his voice
scarcely audible. His own hair was cut just above the
shoulders rather raggedly - it looked like it had been cut with an army knife
in the same absent-minded manner. It was parted asymmetrically, covering half
of his face in a shiny, silky silver curtain. He was way shorter than his
companions, and his face hadn't lost that childish gentleness of smooth lines
and rounded angles.
But
he worried Bob. He worried Bob a lot.
The
three didn't pay any attention to curious stares. They were not that far from
where Bob was polishing glasses, and although he couldn't make out what the
longhair and the youngster were talking about in half-whisper, he could hear
the oldest one just fine. When the waitress came up, the longhair looked up and
asked for water, and the oldest one protested. He wanted some beer. And then
the youngster cut him short, pretty sternly. And the big guy did shut up. Immediately. That amazed Bob. And worried
him even more.
The
youngster finally did feel one particular stare. Bob's very own one, to be
sure. The kid turned around. Bob hurriedly shifted his stare onto the counter. Still
polishing the glass, he could hear the noise: the chairs screeching, light
steps approaching. The silver-haired guests were approaching him.
Damn, Bob
thought. And yet again: Damn.
"Good
afternoon."
The
voice was gentle, suave. Not too low-pitched. Young. It
was the youngest one speaking. Bob looked up.
And met his stare.
It
was like a hit in the face. Like an electric shock.
The
kid had green eyes. Think river waters green, river waters reflecting summer
trees. Bluish green. Transparent.
Deep. A catlike slit. And
they shone. They flashed in the dark. Strange eyes.
Scary eyes.
Bob
had seen such, just once.
"Would
you help us a bit? We're looking for a certain person."
The
other two had the same kind of eyes. Yes, he had seen it. Just
that one time. And although those eyes were blue, although Bob couldn't
remember them having those snake-slit pupils, - this light, living
light, Mako light gushing out of eye-sockets, that was something Bob just
couldn't forget. And so he knew the name even before the kid said it aloud.
"Cloud Strife. Ever heard of him?"
The
bar noise died on the spot. Even those who hadn't bothered to watch them before
were now turning to the counter. But somehow it didn't give Bob any security.
Look out, Big Bob. Look the fuck out.
"Heard
a bit," Bob responded as carelessly as he could. "He's a hero now,
y'know. Everyone has heard of him."
The
lucid green was alluring. Mesmerizing. Frightening. It didn't let go.
"Can
you give us a clue on where we can find him?"
"Why'd
you even need'im?"
The
big guy let out a low growl and moved. Just moved. Such a lazy shoulder movement. Bob froze. This one movement
showed so much concealed power that it would be enough to erase three of bars
like his off the planet in a second. Not a punk. Not just a punk. When punks
are that strong, they have other names for that.
"Easy,
Loz!" the youngster snapped without turning around. "It's okay. This
is no secret." His eyes, two emerald flashlights, were burning Bob right
through. He paused. And then answered: "He is our... brother. And we need
his... help."
Pauses, those little pauses. Cloud wasn't a friend of Bob's. But
he wasn't an enemy to him, either. Bob was grateful. He liked this planet,
liked the fact that it still existed... he liked to be alive. And all of that he owed to Strife. Just like everyone else did.
Nope,
he wasn't Cloud's enemy. And these three hellkids weren't his brothers, Mako
eyes or not. That one thing Bob was sure of.
Cloud
didn't have any family left.
"Your
brother isn't seen in the city that often," he said, hoping his silence
didn't last too long. "He lives somewhere on the outskirts, I hear. Doing the hermit kind of stuff. And I don't really know
where."
And
that even wasn't a lie.
Unblinking
green-eyed stare nailed him to the counter. Cold eyes... so cold... almost
dead... how come they had that fire in them that was so furious, so scorching, so alive? Was this kid really that young? These eyes
could've belonged to a thousand-year-old.
"And
you don't know how to get in touch with him."
"Never
needed to," Bob shrugged. Don't look at me like this, boy. Don't look
at me as if I were a fish on a cutting board. Kids shouldn't look at anyone
like that. Even in times like ours.
The
kid smiled slowly. Not a nice smile. Not a young one.
"Well...
thank you, anyway. Sorry to have bothered."
Bob
watched the three walk back to their booth and hardly believed his luck. His
legs were failing him. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and went back to
glass polishing. His hands were shaking. And they hadn't even done anything to
him yet. Not a single threat. Death walks close by, Bob thought. You
can hear it breath. And you can never tell if it wants to reach out and touch
you.
There
were loud whispers heard everywhere in the room by now. Part of the reason was
Cloud's name - a name too well-known to go by without notice. But only part of it. Now, when people got over the surprise,
the stares turned appraising. Bob always admitted honestly that there were not
too many do-gooder folks among his daily clients. And the guests were
expensively dressed. A single long coat, like the one the longhair had on, cost
enough to buy everyone's booze in Bob's bar for a week running.
Besides,
one of the watchers was Sweetheart Eddie. Now, this one was hardly interested
in the coat. He was more likely to go for the coat's owner. Young and pretty
was just his thing, all that hair, these big eyes... Well, to do Eddie justice,
he would take the coat as well. After throwing what would be left of the kid
into a canal.
Bob
could almost hear their thoughts now. The two younger brothers didn't look the
real thing to them. But the oldest one looked dangerous enough for even Eddie's
crew to stay right where they are. Now, if he were out of the picture...
Dimwits, Bob
thought gloomily. Blind brainless dimwits.
And like hell I'll warn you. If you get your balls shot off, serves you right.
He
was going to warn someone else.
"Get
me Timmi," he told the by-passing waitress.
He
didn't know where Cloud could be found. But Tifa Lockhart very well might know.
And it wasn't hard to find Tifa.
"Off
to Tifa's bar," he told Timmi when the kid showed up in a minute. "Go
and tell Tifa to pass it along to Strife: someone's looking for him. Looking hard. If she asks any questions, tell her about
those guys in the corner. Got it?"
Timmi
cast a glance in the pointed direction and nodded. In a second he was out of
here. Bob smirked. The kid was fast. And smart. Bob hadn't regretted hiring him
a single time. And people had been trying to talk him out of it - "a slum
scum, a slum scum"... Eh, take Cloud or Tifa - neither of them was born
into a royal family, but they made it pretty big, as far as Bob was
concerned...
He
glanced into the corner, and his speculations stopped dead. As
if cut off by a butcher knife. The longhair was staring at him. Never taking his eyes off. Bob couldn't decipher the
expression in those huge emerald eyes. And he was smiling. Such
a small smile. Just a corner of his mouth up.
The
youngster was whispering something into the big guy's ear - Loz's, if Bob had
gotten the name right. When he moved away, Loz grinned and got up, giving his
chair a kick.
"Needa
take a leak," he announced loud enough for the whole bar to hear. "I'll
be right back, bros. You won't even have time to miss me."
Bob
knew that was bullshit even before he heard the roar of the starting motorbike
from the yard. He won't get Timmi, he tried to assure himself. Timmi
must be halfway there already. This musclebrain won't even see his back...
The thoughts dissolved in the roar dying away in the distance. And the trouble
sense was still right here. And it was growing worse.
He
wasn't the only one who'd heard the bike. Sweetheart Eddie livened up, and not him alone. Bob focused his attention on the
glasses. Whichever way the coming brawl would end in, he wasn't going to be
sorry. He didn't like either of the sides much.
He
finally had to be sorry. Awfully sorry. If he'd known
just how much sorry he'd be, he'd have finished Eddie right in his booth. Because
it all started with Eddie's looking for trouble. And finding
it.
Eddie
waited for another 5 minutes just to make sure Loz wasn't coming back and,
triumphant, led his gang across the room over to the corner booth occupied by
his future victims. The said victims didn't give a long flying jump. The
youngster was explaining something to the longhair. The latter was listening,
smiling in the same mysterious way and sipping his water from the wineglass.
This
way or the other, Eddie would have found the reason to pick on them. But they
had already given him the reason. The most nice-looking one.
"So
you're looking for Strife, eh?" he specified with mock friendliness,
standing over their table, hands on hips.
Eddie
was one big bastard. Over
These
kiddies didn't get scared. The youngster looked up and responded calmly:
"Why,
can you help?"
Eddie
sneered. Bob, who was watching the whole scene from behind the counter, shook
his head unbelievingly. Couldn't Eddie see those eyes? Couldn't he sense
it? Was he really that dumb?
To
look at Eddie's sneer, he didn't sense anything at all. He was anticipating
fun.
"I'm
going to help you to understand a couple of things, sucker. A lot of people in
this fuckin' city care for Cloud. And we don't want any trouble for him."
Bob
saw the kid's face change. Just for a second. Maybe, a corner of his mouth
twitched. Or his jaws clenched. For a moment. Because
in the next moment he was answering Eddie's remark, calm as ever:
"No
trouble. We just need his assistance."
The
longhair smiled just a tiny bit wider.
Eddie
shifted his focus immediately.
"And
just why are you smiling, sunshine? Somebody told you a joke? Or is it that you
like me that much?"
The
longhair didn't respond. Only his smile grew yet wider. Just
a tad.
"I
see. You must be mute, eh?" Eddie grabbed his pointed chin and jerked his
head up. "Or you just don't want to talk to me... huh?"
The
expression on the longhair's face didn't waver one bit. He kept smiling,
looking Eddie straight in the eye. Bob felt surreal. As if a grotesque play
were being staged right in front of him.
"Let
my brother go," he heard the kid say, still calm. "Keep your hands to
yourself. And move off."
"You're
not old enough to give orders to your teddy-bears, let alone me," Eddie
snapped at him lazily.
Bob
couldn't see the youngster's face behind Eddie's back. But he saw his hand. Saw
it sneak to his hip in a smooth, easy movement. Saw it move the short coat
lappet out of the way...
"So
what do you say, sunshine?"
Bob
watched on, mesmerized. Watched on as the graceful hand clad
in black glove fell onto the hilt that peeked out of the sheath. Why
didn't I spot it before? It is long... A long blade... He watched on, as
the long graceful fingers habitually circled the hilt...
"Let
him go. The last warning," the words were icy. They breathed off cold.
Eddie
swirled around, annoyed.
"Hey,
you, fuckin' sonofa..."
One movement. It was just one single movement, Bob
understood, terrified. It began with the catlike jump that brought the kid to
his feet and ended in a blurred line that the sword drew in the air. It took
less then a second.
"My
sentiments exactly," the kid purred.
His
brother gave Eddie a light poke on the chest with two fingers. The poke made
Eddie's head fall off his shoulders. The body stood for another second, then
began to fall down as well. The hand holding the longhair by the chin slipped
off. Mr. Handsome stood up, shoving his chair out of the way noiselessly. Bob
had been right. The guy did have a holster on his hip.
Eddie's
corpse plopped down on the wooden floors heavily. The head rolled off and
stopped a few inches away from it. And Bob couldn't take his eyes off the small
round bloody slice lying between them. So reminiscent of a slice of sausage, it
was even funny in its own tragic way.
Two long blades. The kid had a double-blade.
Everything
around them stooped in mid-motion, as if Bob were in a waxworks museum. Eddie's
thugs weren't moving, not yet able to realize what had happened. The on-lookers
weren't moving. And Bob wasn't moving either, clutching a cloth in his
spasmodically clenched fist. Absolute, deafening silence filled the room. And
in this silence, everyone heard the longhair's voice.
"Don't
really like to be touched without much reason," he revealed softly. "Thanks,
Kadaj."
"Don't
mention it,
Eddie's
boys finally came to senses. Their rush forward was simultaneous. Messy. And suicidal.
Kadaj
stayed where he was.
This
all took one moment to happen. And the next moment the brothers started to
kill.
Bob
blinked. Kadaj turned into a small black whirlwind, a mini-tornado in the
middle of the room. And grown-up well-armed people were drawn to him, just like
leaves and dust would be drawn into a twister. They made a circle shield around
him, surrounded him in a wall of bodies... and then, all of a sudden, they
began to fall out of this wall. Fall right down. And die. Bob saw it with his
own eyes: Toby Halfpint jumped out of the circle, skidded in a puddle of blood,
fell to his knees, failed to keep his guts, falling out of the long cut in his
stomach, and died. Nite Highjack, shoved out of the fight, backed away towards
the wall, clutching at his throat madly, his eyes bulging, wheezed, gurgled and
died. Smiler Tucky made it almost to the counter on all fours... only it was
all threes now. Tucky looked at the spot where he used to have a shoulder and
an arm that were now cut off clean almost at the collar bone. Gave a short howl. Died.
They
wiped out the most of Eddie's gang when Brad and his crew entered the fight.
Brad
was Bob's friend. A good one. Bob didn't have any idea
on how Brad earns his living. Nor did he want to have one. He could guess, by
the silent respect other bar visitors paid him, but he didn't want to guess
either. Brad was a friend and he was always willing to help - that was the only
thing that mattered.
Brad
helped him about the bar, too. He took care about things out of order. He let
the small brawls happen, figuring that a little
fistfight at the end of the evening never killed anyone and, moreover, could be
entertaining. But when it came to crossfire, unwanted hurts could happen, and
really, bullet holes hardly improved interior decoration.
And
so Brad came up to the table, upon which Yazoo had chosen to take a firing stand,
jumped onto it and put one hand on
"Enough,"
he said. "Stop bangin'. Your brother can handle it alone. And, by the way,
you wore out your welcome."
Jinnnnk!
Brad
grew pale. Swallowed hard, looking down, at the stumps of his fingers, neatly
cut off by the blade that popped out of the gun. He backed off, slipped, fell
to the floor and only then screamed.
One
could hardly blame him for it. He couldn't have possibly expected. No-one in
Midgar slums had ever had money to buy a personal gunblade before.
"I
said I didn't like being touched,"
Brad's
crew was better coordinated than Eddie's gang. And better
armed. They reacted almost immediately, raining lead on
And
the following second, the last of Eddie's guys disposed of,
right onto Brad's boys, like thunder from the skies, there came Kadaj.
Bob
closed his eyes. Everything inside him went numb. Even the fear disappeared. He
killed Brad, he thought. The thought was floating through his head slowly,
again and again, like a spoilt record. This brat killed Brad. Cut off his
fingers and blew his brains out. Killed Brad. Gods...
This
all had gone way too far.
Slowly
and deliberately, feeling distant, as if what was happening didn't concern him
at all, Bob lowered his hand to feel under the counter. Sensed
the smooth coolness of metal. Good ole revolver. He kept it there on
Brad's advice, "for force majeur cases". Always hoping he'd never had
to find out just what force majeur meant.
These underage motherfuckers killed him, they killed Brad...
Bob
was good at shooting. At shooting tins. Standing tins,
tins thrown up in the air, tins dragged along on a rope - that was Brad's idea,
he wanted Bob to get more practice in shooting moving targets... Now he wasn't
aiming at a tin, though. He was aiming at a living human. A
teenager. Little more than a child. But he
didn't feel sorry.
They're not human. They're beasts. Beast cubs...
Kadaj
was slowing down by the minute. Maybe he was finally beginning to tire. His
head, a bright silvery spot... an easy target. Bob took aim. Carefully.
Allowing for all the factors. He knew he wouldn't
miss. He knew he'd get it. His finger tensed upon the trigger...
And stayed there as Bob turned to stone on
feeling the cold muzzle at the back of his head.
"Don't
even dream of it,"
The
numbness left him. Bob remembered with painful clarity that he had a wife and
two kids, and that he had never intended on dying at 48. And that he had never
considered himself a hero.
"Drop
the gun. And don't move."
The
revolver slipped out of Bob's fingers and hit him on the foot, sending a bolt
of pain through it. But Bob didn't even squeak. Even though he never believed
it would save him.
They
stood there, he and
It
didn't take long. And when Kadaj turned to face them, looking away from the
piece of battered meat on the floor that had been a human being just a second
ago, Bob saw his happy smile and suddenly wanted
Kadaj's
smile slowly died away.
"What
are you waiting for?" he asked
"Saving
ammo,"
Kadaj
pouted. In an absolutely childish manner. I'm gonna
shit my pants, Bob thought. I'm gonna shit my fucking pants.
Kadaj
came up closer. And his eyes grew old again, grew deep, two wells of green.
"Since you're still alive," his voice
was gentle and suave once again, "since you're alive, be so kind and tell
us where you sent your messenger. And what for. I'd
like to know where to meet up with Loz. Just to save the time. And then, maybe
- maybe - I will forget about your brilliant idea of shooting me in the back. It
well may be."
Bob
shut his eyes. And told him everything. About Tifa. About Cloud. About their orphanage. About every little thing he had ever
heard of them. Told him that all like a confession, like a
testimony, in one breath. Very willingly.
His
story was met with silence. No interruptions. Then he heard a rustle.
"You
insist?" he asked.
"It's
up to you," Kadaj replied dryly.
Steps. Floor boards screeching.
Silence. The roar of a motor, first
deafening, then trailing off and dying away.
Another sigh. And the click of a gun being
cocked.
Bob
screwed his eyes tight.
Seconds
crawled by, sticky, viscid, one after another. The smell of
blood. The smell of spilled wine. The noise of wind behind the walls.
When
Bob opened his eyes, he was alone in the bar room.
In
a second, the second motorbike roared behind the door.
Bob
never told anyone, what he thought of then. Not even his wife. Not even many
days later, when they changed the wall paneling and the floors - they had to,
because the wooden planks had adopted the blood smell forever. Not even when he
already stopped fearing he might go broke - despite his expectations, people
kept coming in crowds. Human beings, the sick breed... always
interested in someone other's death. But even then Bob didn't tell a
single person, that when he heard that motorbike, he suddenly remembered just
where else he had seen such eyes. And where he had seen such
hair. And even that chilling insane smile. Remembered old newspapers
with a certain face on their front pages, the face Kadaj would be a carbon copy
of in a few years, when he'd get older and his features would grow sharper,
tougher, more defined. "GENERAL SEPHIROTH OFFICIALLY PRONOUNCED
DEAD", the headlines on those front pages had said. Bob remembered it with
the same painful clarity.
Later
he tried to forget it for a long, really long time.
That
day he waited for Timmi, waited 'til late at night. Until he finally realized
Timmi wasn't ever coming back.
******
"You
didn't obey me."
They
made him like that.
Someone,
somewhere, made a mistake while deconstructing Sephiroth's genes into a puzzle
only genetics could understand. Sephiroth could be calm. Could
be mad. Could be patient. Could
be resolute. Sephiroth could do everything.
"You
said 'It's up to you'", he reminded Kadaj softly.
"You
knew what I wanted you to do."
"Yes."
"Then
why?"
Whatever I tell him now, he's not going to be satisfied by it.
I
wonder... is that true that everyone has the home he deserves?
"Just
don't start about the ammo again. Don't insult my intelligence."
But it's true,
"I'm
sorry," he said. "I thought he wasn't important."
Kadaj
bent down to face him. Such a weird feeling - to actually
look up at him. Get used to it,
"They're
humans,
Loz
was sitting on the ground a couple steps away, holding his knees to his chest.
But only at times.
Loz
had done good today. He had done everything he was
supposed to. He'd followed the kid right to the "7th Heaven" and got
rid of him before that woman, Tifa, could see him. Today he didn't deserve any
scolding. And he knew better than to interfere, afraid that it might change for
the worse. Sometimes Kadaj shifted his scowling focus really randomly.
"I
know, Kadaj,"
Submission move. As far as he knew, wolves revealed
their unprotected throats to the pack leader to convey the same idea.
Kadaj
smiled. The smile wasn't mad, didn't have any evil in it. But it wasn't the
smile
"Oh,
you shouldn't be apologizing. Not to me, not you... brother."
"You
know, you're just adorable when you give in. Sometimes I only get into an
argument with you to see you do it," the fingertips wandered over
Oh no,
Kadaj
was smiling.
"But
I really AM sorry,"
Kadaj
pretended to be hurt. At that, he was really good, too.
"Hey,
was I saying I'm mad at you? I was saying you were adorable, that's all!"
"You
decided I was punishing you, is it that? You silly thing.
I just want to have some fun. I'm bored. You're not gonna refuse, are you?
You're not going to refuse your little bro? I'm also tired, you know...
Please?"
"Won't refuse."
Why is he doing that to me? Why does he have to call me a brother? This
way it only hurts more... But
Because he had faith in Mother.
No
mother ever bore them in the womb. They'd never had a father. And they'd never
had a childhood either.
"Thank
you," Kadaj leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.
"Loz!"
Loz
jumped to his feet, obviously pleased. No surprise - for once, the long,
confusing conversation was over. And then, unlike
And why wouldn't he like it, really?
"Don't
do that,
Why so?
They,
he and Loz, took after Sephiroth, each in his own way.
Kadaj
was Sephiroth.
The best of them. The best try. The
try that exceeded all expectations. He was stronger than
Mother's little boy. Her favorite -
right after Sephiroth.
"Undress
him, Loz."
Maybe
Kadaj wasn't mad at
Earlier,
just one year earlier, he would have made them put on a fight instead. His
taste for entertainment was definitely going through puberty changes.
The
day was ending, and the air was getting cool, moist, it made
"Wait,"
Kadaj ordered, and Loz's hand stopped at the zipper of his pants. "Cuddle
him. He's cold, don't you see."
Oh thank you so much, Kadaj. Thanks a lot.
Kadaj
was sitting on the shattered remains of a stone fence. Watching.
"Don't
sit on cold stone,"
Soft laughter.
"Don't
get distracted, brother. Kiss him, Loz."
"Hey,
That
was yet another thing he despised himself for.
Loz
tore away from his lips and kissed him on the shoulder.
At
least he didn't feel so cold anymore.
Loz's
hand sneaked down to the zipper of
Not
a sound, when Loz laid him out on the icy, biting-cold steel of his Shin-Ra
bike. Not a sound, when he pushed into him, too impatient, causing too much
pain. Not a sound, when pain gave way to pleasure, shameful, unwanted. Not a
sound, even when it suddenly got too hot to breath, and Kadaj came up to them
unheard, brushed the hair out of Yazoo's face and kissed him on the forehead,
and Yazoo's sight blurred and darkened, and he arched back, clawing at Loz's
shoulders.
Not
a sound. Just the burn of his lips bitten right through.
The taste of his own blood in his mouth. The feel of someone else's skin under his nails. And those eyes. Green. Shiny. Deep. Strange.
Close. Hated. Beloved.
Understanding.
******
Kadaj
was sitting on a stone ledge not far from him, cleaning his sword. The kind of
weapon
Though,
of course, they didn't matter when it came to Kadaj.
Loz
had gathered up some dead grass and chunks of wood and was now making a fire in
the center of the clearing. It was almost dark and
He
looked at Kadaj again. Kadaj was polishing the Shadow Blade intensely. A totally redundant thing to do. The Shadow Blade drank in
everything it got. At times even brain smears or small pieces of meat would get
absorbed before Kadaj could clean them off. Dark, evil magic
at work. Kadaj's ability to handle it set him yet another notch above
them.
I hate you, he
said mentally. Tasted the words. Considered the feel
they left in his mouth. And threw them out of his head.
It wasn't true. He couldn't hate Kadaj. He remembered him as a little kid - and
he remembered what had been done to him. They would do things to him for
a really long time, even after they had left him and Loz alone. He
remembered Kadaj being strapped to the table and cut open - neatly, accurately,
methodically, scientifically - just for them to see how fast the wounds
would close - and the wounds would close fast, and would do it yet faster with
each time, because the object was developing... He remembered Kadaj
being injected with something that made him shiver in his bed for hours and
just once he'd gone down in cramps, and it had taken both Loz and
No,
Kadaj
had touched him today.
Somehow
that small detail didn't let
Until today.
Kadaj
met his stare.
He
didn't expect Kadaj to speak up.
"It
won't always be like that."
"It
won't always be like that," Kadaj repeated, running his fingers through
Don't be like this!
"You
think that would make me feel any better?" he asked, allowing himself just
a tint of irony.
"I
don't know," Kadaj said simply. "But me - yes, it would."
"I
can't," Kadaj hissed, turning away from him. "I can't be any other
way. I... I'm scared. I hear Mother... all the time... I hear her call... and
I'm happy, that I hear that call... but... for some reason... I have a
feeling..."
"Kadaj..."
"I
have a feeling... that I have very little time left. Understand me,
"Come
on here," he called. "Group hug!"
Loz
came up, and
"Everything
is going to be just fine," he said. "You hear me, Kadaj? Everything
is going the way it is supposed to be. Because I'm the best
gunslinger on this damned planet. And Loz is the best at martial arts. And
you're the best at swordplay. And the best leader ever.
We're the best. And we'll always be. Understand me?"
Kadaj
backed away a little.
Loz
put his hand on Kadaj's shoulder. And that one gesture said more than Loz ever
could if he tried to put his idea into proper words.
"Thank
you..." Kadaj whispered. Paused a little and then added: "Forgive
me?"
I don't know,
Because
here and now, settled in a hug in the midst of ruins towering above them, by
the crackling fire, sharing the silence that was so unbelievably intimate, -
here and now they weren't anyone's clones. They weren't objects of any
experiment. They weren't parts of anyone else.
Here
and now, for the first time in their lives, each of them was no-one else but himself.